John Freeman Saver of Humens

The advent of the internet means increased accessibility not only to information, but of publishing privilege–namely, the capability to publish media and text content. And at the same time, our standards in quality are drastically reduced. This, in turn, questions our own cultural norms and our own intellectual values. One prime example that illustrates this is fan fiction, a term that refers to fiction written by fans of an existing work, usually without the consent or knowledge of the original creator. Fan fiction is not something that is particularly new–early forms of fan fiction have existed since the 17th century.

Contemporary fan fiction is notable, however, because of the aforementioned decrease in quality standards–while there are online measures that attempt to ensure that fan fiction remains quality material, much of it delves into the realm of wish fulfillment and literary self-destruction. Enter Squirrelking, an author who is completely notorious and infamous for what is allegedly one of the worst pieces of fanfiction–Halflife: Fulllife Consequences. A text so notoriously awful, it has somehow become an internet phenomenon.

What most people don’t realize, however, is the possibility that Squirrelking is a massive troll:

In 2006 I was first exposed to the sub-genre of intellectual garbage known as “fanfiction.” But, like an anthropologist witnessing his first human sacrifice to the Sun God, I wasn’t disgusted or appalled… I was intrigued. I wanted to know what could drive the human mind to commit such atrocities. I wanted to step inside the brain of a 12 year old love-child between a crack addicted mother and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Society as we know it was at stake. … I am as intelligent as they are dumb, why can’t I write something? Why can’t I write a story so mind-numbingly bad that it stands the test of time as one of the worst things ever written in the English language? Surely I could beat them at their own game. It was then that I heard the choir of angels and knew what has tobe done.

Taking this into context, Full Life Consequences can be construed as a kind of deconstruction of fan fiction–it questions the reader’s intelligence deliberately, and it critiques the genre of fan fiction, and our perceptions of it, as a whole.

This is a film adaptation directed by Djy1991, and probably the major reason Squirrelking’s work has become rather extraordinary. This was recorded in Garrysmod, a sandbox modification for the game Half-Life 2. Garrysmod lets you do virtually anything with the Source Engine and any related game assets, including the recording of nonsensical movies such as this one.

More skits based on Squirrelking’s work here:

Halflife Fulllife Consequences 2: WhatHasTobeDone
Halflife: Hero Beggining
Halflife Fulllife Consequences: Free Man

And there is also the work of Peter Chimaera

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